Colon Hydrotherapy and me
I recently participated in a mega-adventure…Colon Hydrotherapy! I’m a Chicago gal and I’ve eaten my fair share of hotdogs, beef sandwiches and deep-dish pizza. Until my colon hydrotherapy session, I would never let my health-kicks interfere with my social life. I enjoy the freedom to eat dinner without restrictions. What I’m about to describe is based on my perception of the experience, as a non-tree-hugging-wants-to-be-healthier-and-prevent-future-health-problems-forty-year-old-woman. That’s Me!
When Dr. Jennifer Stanley, a certified Traditional Naturopath and certified colon hydrotherapist, asked if I would be interested in colon hydrotherapy, I was intrigued. From what I heard, colon hydrotherapy cleans trapped gook out of the intestinal track; gook that maybe wouldn’t come out through a body’s natural functioning. Because I’m hyper sensitive, I always feel like I’m walking around with at least five pounds of emotional baggage weighing me down, plus another five pounds of stagnant gook in my tummy. Additionally, I’m constantly searching for solutions to feel better, emotionally and physically, on a daily basis. Needless to say, I thought about Dr. Jen’s question for about three seconds, and blurted out, “Sure! Why not?”
Before I go into the specifics of my appointment, I’m going to address a few burning questions regarding colon hydrotherapy. First, colon hydrotherapy is the entry of water into the body for purposes of cleansing the colon. The positive effects emanate to other body parts, including the kidneys, liver, sinus cavity, and skin. However, colon hydrotherapy is not taken orally. It’s not a magic drink, capsule, or condensed green food chewy.
That’s right! What I’m talking about goes in through your rear end, back door, kiester, your ass. As described on Dr. Jen’s website, FromScratchWellness.com, “Colon hydrotherapy is the gentle introduction of warm filtered water into the large intestine. Water may encourage the release of congested fecal waste and trapped impurities.” And yes, it not only encourages the release of fecal waste, it makes it happen. It did for me anyway. Water went in and the gook came out.
Another question that requires immediate attention has to do with the therapy equipment coordinating with my body parts. There’s a hose for clean water to go in and a hose for dirty water to come out. That’s two hoses and I have one butt-hole. How?
Yes, it all happens through that hole…the poop-shoot hole. And, yes, there is a hose that sends the warm filtered water into your body and another hose for the dirty water to exit your body. However, it doesn’t all happen at the same time. Ohhhhhh!!! The warm filtered water in gently “introduced” into your intestinal body parts. Then, with the flip of a switch, the water flow stops and the waste water comes out “Uranus” and runs through the other tube which is designated for the poopy water. Both tubes are attached to a speculum, which is a nozzle, and if you’re imaginative like me, you’ll see that it does possess penis like qualities.
Let’s expand on the speculum, shall we? The speculum is lubricated and inserted into the hiney-hole.
What’s that like?
Well, if you’ve engaged in anal sex, you probably won’t bat an eyelash. If you’ve never engaged in anal sex, then it may seem a little scary. Maybe “scary” isn’t the right word. Perhaps the following words better describe the speculum insertion: foreign, strange, surprising. I assure you, there’s absolutely no sphincter ripping or pain, just the gentle insertion, provided Dr. Jen’s instruction. There are two speculum sizes: standard and large. Neither size is larger than any bowel movement I’ve ever taken. According to Dr. Jen, women transition to the larger speculum after the first session, but men usually stay with the standard size. Reason why…anatomy.
Just try to relax and go with it!
Now that your burning questions have been answered, let me take you through my experience with colon hydrotherapy. To kick-off the session, Dr. Jen brought me to the room where the procedure was about to take place. She thoroughly explained every piece of equipment: hoses, speculum, leak-protection-table padding, the big machine that does all the work, and the reflexology machine. The hoses attach to what I call the Big Mac, as in big machine, and it sits quietly in the corner of the room. The front of the Big Mac has a few knobs, gages, and switches, which Dr. Jen controls during the session. However, the most important feature of the Big Mac is the illuminated window containing the waste hose that is visible throughout the session.
During the preview, I asked Dr. Jen several additional questions, which she answered thoroughly and without hesitation:
Q. “Will I fart?”
A. “No!”
Q. “Will it smell?”
A. “No! It is a closed system procedure, which means there are no smells or sounds.”
Q. “Will I have an accident in my pants on the way home?”
A. “No! Through the basic functioning of the body’s peristaltic system, everything will come out during the session or in the bathroom immediately following the session.”
I blurted out my fear that the waste would come running out of me while walking from the therapy table to the bathroom. She reminded me that my body controls my rectum when I normally have the urge to poop, as I will do the same between the table and her bathroom. Phew! I proudly announced that I cleaned my butt-hole really well for the occasion. Dr. Jen thanked me and commented that it is normal to find toilet paper remnants down there. I assured her that would NOT happen with me.
I went into the bathroom, took off all articles of clothing, put on a robe with the opening in the back, and a pair of warm comfy socks. Here we go! I walked back across the hallway to the colon hydrotherapy room. Using a step stool, I sat on the table and then lay down on my left side, facing away from Dr. Jen. The lubricated speculum was inserted into my butt-hole and the waste line was attached. I rolled over onto my back, looking at the ceiling, as my own body weight held the speculum in place. Dr. Jen placed support under my knees and propped up my pillow so that I had a clear view of the waste hose running through the Big Mac.
With the flip of a switch, Dr. Jen turned on the filtration system and the process began. First, there was an introduction of water into my rectum via the speculum. I felt the sensation. Then, she flipped the switch for the release and I felt the water drain from my body. Next, she turned on the water flow and I felt my midsection fill up. Dr. Jen asked if I was feeling full, and when I signaled she immediately switched off the water flow. If a certain amount of time goes by, Dr. Jen will turn off the water flow, regardless, to allow the release. For me, the water insertion flow took about five minutes each time. The process happens according to each individual’s own body rhythm. As my body released, the water moved in little waves through the Big-Mac. Then, about halfway through the session, the release started to get interesting. I watched as fecal waste emptied from my body. Never did I think seeing my own poop would be so fascinating. I actually screamed, “Here it comes! It’s coming out of me!”
During the release, I experienced some cramping. Dr. Jen instructed me to take three deep breadths, which helped greatly. Cramps, most likely, lead to a kick-ass release and for me, it did. I gazed in amazement as a large amount of crap streamed through the waste hose. Dr. Jen explained that the cramping is caused by water going up against an air bubble or a piece of hard waste stuck in my colon. The water would gently encourage the chunk off the wall of my colon and it would come out with the rest of the good stuff.
To facilitate the release process, Dr. Jen covered the top of my belly with warm castor oil and a heating pad. She informed me that castor oil is used to relax inflamed or tight muscles. As the release began to produce results, Dr. Jen massaged my stomach. It felt great! She also performed reflexology to stimulate my intestine. She massaged my feet using both her hands and the reflexology machine; a bonus service that I found to be excellent.
During the session, a significant amount of attention was paid to my body. I realized how neglectful I am to my intuitive self; ignoring the signals my body sends in great attempts to communicate with my mind. As I lay there on the table, I felt a joining of mind, body, and spirit. As Dr. Jen massaged my feet, I took in the experience. It was not only a release of fecal matter, but also a release of myself, the person who forces me to be me. There, on the table, I was feeling the real me, the unattached me, the being. I realized this process is more than a physical cleansing. I was experiencing a cleansing of my thought process. It became clear that I am quite capable of interfering with my intuitive self. The saying, “follow your gut” came to mind. Yes, the more I take care of my body and make smart decisions about what I consume, the easier it will be to follow my gut.
I had come this far and I didn’t want to jeopardize the healing effects of the colon hydrotherapy. I asked Dr. Jen for recommendations of what and what not to consume based on my current eating habits. She provided easy to follow suggestions specific to my lifestyle, body type, and symptoms. She also explained, that the symptoms of each individual depends on the location of the fecal impaction in their colon. I listed a few of my own symptoms, which I thought were just part of adulthood: headaches, sinus pressure, hip pain and most importantly, the dip in my energy level mid-day, every day. I became hopeful that I would rid myself of these life obstacles. Dr. Jen named a few other symptoms she frequently addresses as a Naturopathic, which include: depression, anxiety, skin irritation, memory loss or foggy thinking. The list goes on and includes serious life altering illnesses and diseases. Amazing!
When the hour was up and my session came to an end, Dr. Jen asked me to roll over onto my left side. The speculum was gently removed from my hiney-hole. Dr. Jen handed me a wad of toilet paper to hold up to my backdoor, just in case, and I was off to the bathroom. I sat on the potty and gravity took over. My body released the left over waste water from my intestine. It was kind of a lot and, to be honest, was really interesting to look at. It resembled animal feed and small wood chips. No kidding! It was disgusting and gratifying at the same time. After spending a little while on the pot, I didn’t feel any pressure or stomach churning and I knew I was done.
I flushed the toilet five times, washed my hands three times, and got dressed. To conclude the session, Dr. Jen met me in her private sitting room with a mug of water mixed with Emergen-C; it tasted refreshing and delicious. On my way home, I was filled with a sense of peace knowing that the colon hydrotherapy session pushed me down the path toward a healthier life. I’ve consumed a green shake from Dr. Jen’s ebook, Get Your Glow On, everyday since my appointment and I feel good. Really good!
Mary Pat Bohan, April 2013
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